Hunting Elf

a doggone Christmas story

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Audio Introduction to Hunting Elf (2:15)

ElfTreeSiteA puppy for Christmas! What could be better? Dan McCoy and his capable wife June find out when Santa gives them a frolicsome hairball named Elf, a Silky Terrier on the Christmas wish list of nefarious dognappers who want to steal him in a murderous scheme to win “Best In Show” at Westminster. Elf foils the plot when he brings Macy’s Parade to a tumultuous halt in a comedic canine Christmas adventure.

You’re invited to join the posse of offbeat neighbors, wacky in-laws, and ruthless dog fanciers who frantically hunt for Elf when he is lost, found, lost again, found again, stolen, and then stolen from the dog thieves.  This audio version is narrated by Dave Donelson, the author and host of the podcast.

A note for parents: Hunting Elf contains a little semi-strong language and some allusions to adult activity, so you might want to listen to the podcast before sharing it with children.

Listen to Chapter 1Chapter One (20:54) Dan McCoy loses Elf, his mother-in-law’s four-legged Christmas present, and enlists a party of drunken neighbors to help him find it.

Where is that dog?

Listen to Chapter 2Chapter Two (19:20) Murder takes center stage as nefarious show dog breeders track Elf to Dan and June--who don’t suspect a thing.

Listen to Chapter 3Chapter Three (23:45) Dan and his pals literally beat the bushes for Elf as the cold-blooded dog-nappers circle like a pack of greedy wolves.

Looking for a dog on the loose

Listen to Chapter 4Chapter Four (15:00) Marie Carcioma and Selena Kisco hatch their plots to dognap Elf while Dan and the gang continue their search in the woods.

Listen to Chapter 5Chapter Five (12:36) Dan barely stays out of jail when his canine companion finally decides to trade wilderness living for the front seat of a police cruiser.

Chapter Six (20:34) June gets a surprise when she tries to give Elf to her mother for Christmas.

Chapter Seven (15:56) Elf creates a distraction, then helps himself to Christmas dinner.  Later, Dan finds out there’s a murder in his new dog’s pedigree.

Chapter Eight (21:10) Elf gets a bath, then he gets stinky even.  In desperation, Dan takes him to a groomer, who has plans of her own for the little son of a champion.

Chapter Nine (15:32) The groomer, Amanda, gets much more than she bargains for when she makes a mysterious phone call.  While Dan’s talking to the detectives, Elf goes apartment hunting.

Chapter Ten (19:01) Elf becomes the ex-officio mayor of Harrington but is almost chased out of office when Marie spots him on the street. 

Anybody seen that dog?

Chapter Eleven (18:06) Elf comes home with some six-legged friends and Dan goes in search of a cure.  Selena Kisco invites Bruce Rose to search for Elf under--or on--her bed.

Chapter Twelve (15:07) Elf makes amorous advances toward several other patients in the vet’s waiting room while Marie clashes and crashes with Bruce Rose.

Chapter Thirteen (17:04) Elf tries to make friends with a creature of the feline persuasion while Edgar tries to persuade Dan to do unnatural things to his body with magnets.

Chapter Fourteen (21:54) Dan and Jerry stake out their first suspects, Selena Kisco tries a smash-and-grab at the mall, and Elf finds a snack in the shoe department at Nordstrom.

Chapter Fifteen (15:54) Marie Carcioma lights a fire under Bruce Rose and Dan and Jerry carry their investigation to the pet store, where they hear a horrifying tale about Selena Kisco.

Chapter Sixteen (19:03) Elf house-trains Dan and Bruce Rose tricks June into sending Dan and Elf into an ambush.

Chapter Seventeen (22:10) Marie almost gets away with Elf by promising him an amorous adventure, but neighbor John Rantze inadvertently foils the plot by calling the cops to complain about all the barking.

Chapter Eighteen (20:22) Dan and Elf go to obedience school, where Dan learns some important lessons and comes home with a whole new Elf.

Chapter Nineteen (20:24) While the dognappers cross and double-cross each other, Elf develops a taste for television--cable, not programs.

Chapter Twenty (15:53) With the help of Elf’s nose, Dan, Jerry, and Edgar trail Bruce Rose to a tryst with a certain amateur porno star.

Chapter Twenty-one (22:05) Elf goes to breakfast with Dan and June, but the dognappers strike and Elf disappears--again.

A dog story

Chapter Twenty-two (19:20) Dan and Jerry get no help from the police, so they investigate Elf’s dognapping themselves.  They find a bloody trail, but no Elf.

Chapter Twenty-three (17:46) Dan and June mourn the loss of their little buddy and Elf misses them, too, even though he’s living the good life in a Manhattan penthouse.

Chapter Twenty-four (22:27) Dan takes June to Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade to cheer her up.  They’re reunited with Elf when he jumps from Marie’s arms and attacks the Barney balloon.

Chapter Twenty-five (24:10)  In the exciting conclusion, Marie tries to dognap Elf at gunpoint, only to be foiled by Elf’s teeth, Dan’s flying tackle, and June’s cool command of the situation.

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Hunting Elf ©2006 Donelson SDA, Inc.